Saturday, November 6, 2010

A day at home

It was nice to be home today. last night I had my meeting about the Kenya trip and then i spent the evening shopping for the trip. I dont really know why, but right now i am on a roller coaster of emotions when thinking about this trip. I am already dreading the day we have to leave the villages, the thought breaks my heart. I know God has amazing things planned for this trip and i am so stoked to see what God is going to do in us and through us.

Today, I was able to see my family which was very nice. I am so thankful for my grandparents. literally, joe, my brother and i would not be able to live without them. Long story short, we moved in with them this past year. Our dad passed away when I was 11 and our mom is an alcoholic. We are so blessed to have a family that cares as much as they do. The love we are shown by them is so amazing. My grandmother on my dads side has worked her butt off in helping me raise money for the trip and today she informed me that one of our other relatives is now promising me a scholarship for my next 3 years of college. God is blessing me in so many ways.

The song, Blessed Be Your Name has been on my mind literally all day. "you give and take away, you give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name". God is good. Yes, he does take away and no it is not easy to deal with, but God is our Father. He is here with us FOREVER. We may not realize it now and it may be something we never understand, but in the big picture, His plan for us is so much bigger than we could ever imagine. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of my father and there is not a day that goes by that i dont wish my mom could just be clean and that my brother and I could be back in the same house with her; but everyday i see the way God is changing and shaping me into the daughter of Christ that i need to be. My faith in Him and my love for Him have dramatically increased. Even when i dont have a father here on earth and even when i cant talk to or see my mom, I have a heavenly Father whos love for me is NEVER FAILING. that is all i need. 

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