We're not always suppose to understand.

Some things we're just not suppose to understand. I currently don't know why things have to happen like this. Why does addiction have to effect everyone? why does it have to continue to happen? why cant things change? and most importantly why does all this happen to me and joe? I don't have answers, nor do i think i will ever have answers. things may continue to spiral downwards or there may be a change in heart. I don't know. At this point in my life, i wish i could run. i wish i could run far away and pretend that everything in my life was perfect, but since its not, nor will it ever be, I must make the best of things. The Lord is teaching me a lot through everything going on. 


1. The more dependent I am upon Him, the stronger our relationship becomes. In complete honesty there are some days when i look at my life and just ask God why. some days i don't want to read my Bible and some days im frustrated, but then i think back on the time when He wasn't my main focus in life. Senior year of high school when everything started getting worse with mommy I really turned my back on God, i didn't want anything to do with church and my heart became hard towards Him. I ran. I fed my selfish desires and I was broken. My life didn't make sense, I had no purpose, i just felt lost. I don't want that ever again. I love knowing that my Father loves me and having that comfort. Nothing compares to it. Because of the situation with my mom and not having an earthly father, many times i really don't feel loved, but He gives that to me and He offers a greater love than anyone could ever offer. 


2. I am not in control of my life, He is. I don't have the ability to change what's going on. the sin in my moms life causes her to fall, the irresponsibility in her life causes her to suffer, which causes me and my family hurt and pain. I cant change that, but He has the power to. I can't focus on things that I can't change, surrendering it to him allows me freedom. It allows me to not stress and to feel some sort of relief.


3. Just thinking about the future, I WILL be an awesome parent. nothing is going to come in the way of the relationship i will have with my children. not work, not any circumstances going on in my life, nothing. I will pray with them, i will take them to church and I will teach them about my Father who has led me through everything.


4. Do not let your pride get in the way of healing. If you have a problem, seek help. Don't be ashamed of it, confide in someone and seek help. If you don't, your problem will continue to get worse. Have accountability, but NOT someone struggling with the same problem. Also keep in mind, things don't get better over night. 

• "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions." Romans 6:12
• "For sin will have NO dominion over you, since you are not under law but under GRACE. Romans 6: 14 He sets us free of sin, dont let it control you.

5. My God is Powerful. He is great. He is mighty. He is love. He is awesome. He is amazing. I could not live my life without Him.

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5: 3-5

Dont miss out on an opportunity to live your life for Him. Its worth it. Dont live your life broken. His love is greater than anything imaginable and the plans He offers for your life unimaginable. 
Dont let your circumstances ruin your life. 


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